Let's hope networking will help with Current TV

I've been commenting a lot more on the news stories since they revamped the system on Current TV. I've been able to get one of them used on TV PC vs.Mac which was a start of getting noticed


Then I was able to get a story I posted about Yahoo rejecting Microsoft's offer which was pretty cool


Even though I don't get paid for those stories since they are just expressing opinions and copying articles from other news web sites, it does get me more known and people that might agree with my opinions. I've gotten several new connections there and my statistics are improving.



Now that Current TV has raised the amount that they are paying for commercials from $1000 to $2500 I might have a better chance of getting one on TV without more support through networking the people that post on the web page

They have a new assignment to make a VCAM for Wachovia Bank that I can try to do. Since the Poser animations haven't been very good response I think I'll put more live footage in this one since I got that video camera now.

The commercial they showed as an example isn't very good and I think I can do a lot better with the theme they want of using Wachovia to save for your dreams. I was thinking of doing several ads this time to increase my chances of getting one on TV. One about the dream of owning a houseboat or a yacht to live on and I can take some footage at Lake Oroville to show the boats there. Also the dream of living on a golf course and I can shoot some footage of Dad's house at Kelly Ridge.

I saw a story with an inspiring new twist

From the news on Current TV there an interview of this author that was trying an idea for an interactive book that had clues to a quest for a dagger hidden in Las Vegas.

It sounded like a great idea to try and maybe I could do something like that to help promote my Writer's Nightmare DVD. I could make another DVD that has clues to where the a model of the gyrotwister is and people would have to find it and then it has clues to where the parts are to put it together.

That way I could have each clue not have to be so hard to figure out but still have the whole thing be a challenge and people would have the sense of progress along the way. I could have animated blueprints made in Illustrator, Flash, Photoshop and After Effects for the some of the clues of the parts, that would be cool.

Questions of the Higher Priority

One of the things I kept asking Krys when she was thinking about going home was "What do you think your priority is?" was it only what was best for herself alone or what was best for both of us? She never gave me a direct answer to my face only kept on saying she didn't know. The obvious one that shows from her actions was she was more concerned about her needs.

I've been thinking about that a lot lately since I've been wondering whether or not she thought that my priorities were different than what I thought they were. After we'd been married for a while we both realized that my trailer wasn't going to last very long with both of us living in it and we needed more room especially for all the stuff she was shipping from Georgia. So the problem was that we would have to get a lot more money than my disability would provide or she would have to get a job that would pay enough to pay for a better place to live.

So I started to focus on my graphic design career to try and genrate some better financial opportunities, but that meant I had to devote less time and attention exclusively to her, I thought at the time it was the priority that was best for both us, but was that a mistake? Did she understand what I was trying to do or did she think I was abandoning her to do something I liked better than her?

Maybe I should've made more time for her and tried to balance it better, especially since I'm still stuck in the trailer with no better place to live in sight. But on the other hand, maybe she should've pitched in more to help me get ahead more by contributing more to my career or by getting a better job since hers payed less than my disability.



I was talking to my mom about it and she thought I she thought I should let it go but it's hard to do that since if I don't learn from it then I won't know if it's worth it to try again or how to avoid the problem if I do try again. Plus I need to figure it out for the novels I was going to write about it as a sequel to Seeking Resonace. I wondering how much of our relationship was based on fantasies that couldn't stand up to living day to day. For example while she was still in Georgia, we talked about going to Feather Falls when she got here and making love under the waterfall.



But it was a fair hike to it. A lot less than I used to do when I was in the Boy Scouts or even trips to Big Sur but we never made it that far since it seemed it wasn't the priority to be worth it. We only made it as far as the fish hatchery that was less than a mile away. Was it because the fantasy of making love under the waterfall couldn't stand up to the reality in the hardship of the hike? The needs of her body to not be worn out by the trip up there seemed to take priority over the experience we could've shared together.



Another example is the first fantasy that we had when I found out she liked me, that of Red Sonja and Kalidor. She had this notion of being strong like a warrior and only loving someone that could defeat her in battle. I thought it was ironic since in the movie Kalidor proved to her that the point was that was a self-defeating strategy since if she was going to love someone, she wasn't going to want to defeat them in battle.

I'm wondering how many other things Krys had ironic and self-defeating fantasies about. We never did get to do our sword fight since I lost my fencing foil and she didn't have her katana anymore. But I did see that she wasn't as good at a lot of things as she claimed, she couldn't use the brake while riding a bike, she couldn't use the diving board or go very far in the deep end of a swimming pool and she couldn't use a bow very well. So how much of the lies she told herself about them were projected onto false expectations about our relationship?



I also had a lot of problems with pain bringing up a lot of shadow stuff to the point where I had so little energy that I could barely function much less respond to her and give her any kind of attention. I couldn't focus on much else except the day to day details of just getting from one day to the next so I couldn't even begin to find ways solving what was best for both of us.



The best quote from Strother Martin in movie Cool Hand Luke was definately "What we have here is a failure to communicate." With different priorities, fantasies and levels of developement, I suppose it's a wonder that we lasted as long as we did. It seems to be a lot more widespread problem than just us though. For one reason or another it looks like most couples that split up have some version or another of that problem.

So I have been thinking, which would be more satisfying, living alone to persue my own fantasies without having to compromise my selfish ego trips or trying it again with someone else when I don't even know that's not anymore of a fantasy that something more exists or could last? The trouble with that it's just giving up any foward motion towards evolution and just staying in stasis.

I did get some inspiration from Ken Wilber's book One Taste since it cleared up a lot of what his ideas about "witness" consciousness was actually supposed to be like and what I should do for the 3 books in the trilogy of my auto-biographies

Reading Ken Wilber’s One Taste has been giving me a lot more hope and inspiration that maybe I can still make the soul mate thing work out after all and it’s not as impossible as I put in my blog.

The thing that might make the 3rd book in the trilogy work is that idea I had 10/29/92 about training a soul mate with the Naked Angel Presentation. That way she would be able to get all the foundation and the background she would need to put it into practice and the training to make it last. It would certainly round out the themes of the trilogy if I were able make all the things from the other 2 books come to fruition in the 3rd.

It does give some shape to the overall thrust of the trilogy since the 1st is Seeking Resonance and describes my search for a soul mate, the death of Margie and my marriage to Krys. (Which is #7813 on the Universe Cube T=0 Tau=0 The=0.) The second would be the relationship we had what problems and how it failed, and the development of the Naked Angel Presentation. (Which is #7814 on the Universe Cube T=1 Tau=0 The=0.) The third would be how I used the Naked Angel Presentation to attract and train a more compatible soul mate and the steps along the way to realizing One Taste. (Which is #7815 on the Universe Cube T=2 Tau=0 The=0.) I still have to come up with titles for the other 2 something to do with balance, harmony and unity, like I did with the first since resonance is balance in electronics, I should follow that theme for the others. Something like Attempting Symmetry or Achieving Communion.



What would be good for the story would be if I was able to train a soul mate like Marina from Hot for words on You Tube. It helps that she's very smart so she can absorb the concepts and gain a higher comprehension of them. She's also very beautiful and a good actress that way she could play the part of Cyan with her connections to the people in Hollywood we could make videos and movies together. The odds against that are very high though, but how are they compared to Krys wanting to go through the training and returning? Both would be very good plots for the story, but how likely would they be for specific people as compared to anyone wanting to take the training at all?



On page 183 of One Taste in the 8/16 entry Ken lays out the possibilities “love for a specific person is when it arises in emptiness. It is still love, it is still intensely personal, it is still very specific; but it is a wave that arises from an ocean of infinity. It is as if a great sea of love brings forth a wave, and that wave carries the force and thrill of the entire sea in its every breaking crest. The sensation is like watching an early morning sunrise in the desert: a vast open clear blue spaciousness within there arises, on the horizon, an intense red-yellow fire. You are the infinite sky of love, in which a particular fire-ball of personal love arises.

One thing is certain infinite love and personal love are not mutually exclusive, the latter is just an individual wave of an infinite ocean. When I lie awake, next to her early in the morning doing meditation, nothing really changes in the contemplation except this; there is a whole-body bliss, paradoxically faint but intense, that edges my awareness. It is sexual energy reconnected to its source in the subtle regions of the body-mind. I will often touch her lightly as I meditate, it definitely completes an energy circuit and she can feel it too.

But that is what men and women can do for each other and that is the core of Tantra as well. In a very concrete and visceral way, the union of male and female is the union of Eros and Agape, Ascending and Descending, Emptiness and Form, Wisdom and Compassion. Not theoretically but concretely in the actual distribution of prana or energy currents in the body itself. And that is why, in the very highest Tantric teachings,the mere visualization of sexual congress with the divine consort is not enough for final enlightenment. Rather for ultimate enlightenment, one must take an actual partner and have real sex in order to complete the circuits conducive to recognizing the already enlightened mind."

It is definately something to shoot for that is a lot more worth while than just sitting around. I can do some videos for YouTube about The 1-2-3 of God with Mimic doing some of the soundtrack and then Poser scenes of some of the things described the 1st, 2nd and 3rd person perspectives, the states and stages of consciousness and the conveyor belt approach.

Things seem to be looking up

The lessons I learned in Art 39: The Business of Graphic Design class from all the compaines that we visited was about networking since they told the same stories about how they got their start by getting clients from people they knew and connections to others they told that would hire them.

Dan always told the story of the guy he worked with and Kinko's then after a few years, he got a job with AOL so he gave Dan a lot of work in his graphic design business. I wasn't sure how I could make that apply to me except to make sure I cultivated some connections to the amount of people I knew and kept in contact with. It seems that it might be finally paying off since a DJ that I met in OuterWorlds is shelling out $300 for me to do some motion graphics and animation for his business presentation.



The nice part about it is that I already got half up front in my PayPal account. That is some evidence to disprove the lion tamer theory and lends weight to the idea that I do have enough talent for graphic design, I just needed the right opportunity.

There is a whole lot of potential in Musicians Playground 3D
to get more exposure for Independent Artists and sidestep the established record labels. I've seen about 15 bands that I'd never heard of since I've been there that were pretty good. It's a huge market to be tapped and if he gets the $6 million in financing that he's asking for in this business presentation, it's a great opportunity to get on the expanded staff to be doing graphic work full time.

Even if he doesn't get the financing and this is the only job he can afford it still gets me a lot farther since I finally have something solid for my portfolio, a job history more recent than 10 years ago and a good reference from someone that can actually confirm my experience doing graphic design that I can show to other employers that might hire me so that they can take me more seriously than they would before.

Part of the deal for the motion graphics is that he also wants me to make a pod for Current TV about indie music and MP3D's role in getting more exposure for artists. It would be a chance to get the story out about new ways for artist to reach audiences through streaming video and virtual reality to build support for the bands and get their CD's sold directly.


I found this example of a indie music pod and I think I could make one just as good. I'm going to has to come up with a script to send and get them to shoot the footage. The best location seems to be at Doc's Place in Florida since they seem to shoot concerts there a lot. I'd need someone on camera to narrate the story, hopefully I can get Ivy to do it from the script then I could edit it together when they send it back to me. By getting it put on Current TV myself, I get paid for producing it and for uploading it, plus I get more credibility from Current as a video producer.

An addition to a legacy in any case

At least the DVD of The Writer's Nightmare is something to add to my portfolio and something that I could be remembered for. MarsDarinder did tell me again today he was going to buy one from CreateSpace so hopefully that's at least one



We'll see if having it distributed on Amazon's web site will increase sales with a wider distribution network

Although the packaging of the DVD did seem to impress Dan, so maybe it would be enough to interest agents or movie studios as a storyboard. I could include it in with the screenplay to give them a better idea of what the story is about. The downside is that would be a fairly substantial investment to get that many copies to send out with guarantee it would help get any notice for it at all.

I figured it would help to be able to put the video I did for the Colbert Campaign to go with the T-shirts, buttons and signs on here to be able to post the link other places.