The tremendous odds of fulfilling the epic of the Impossible Dream

I had been thinking that I actually could finish the second book they way I planned, since the tragedy of the failure of the love story would be balanced out by the accomplishment of finishing the Naked Angel Presentation.

That leaves room for the big finish in the last book of the trilogy, since when I watched Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End I was amazed at all the plot twists and how it kept building the action bigger and bigger until it was finally all resolved. Not in the way it was expected but also leaving room for a fourth movie.



The trouble with ending the 2nd book that way is that it would most likely demand a more involved task in the 3rd book. Since I had already had the experience of a normal relationship, it would set the bar for an extraordinary one. The odds of pulling that off of is worse than winning the lottery in each the state in the same year.


It would be the true essence of the Impossible Dream, since even the ones I've heard that accomplished great relationships, haven't been able to sustain them. Richard Bach got divorced from Leslie Parrish so did Billy Joel from Christie Brinkley. Even Ken Wilber was only with Treya a year before she died.

Part of the trouble is a lot of women are confused about what they do want, that's what the cliche "Nice guys finish last" applies to since a lot of biology makes the mistake of strength confused for stability. Since strength is no substitute for maturity in the long run it is hard to maintain. There was an example of that in the movie Bedazzled when Elliot wished to be more "sensitive" because it was what Allison thought she wanted.



Admittedly the example was exaggerated for dramatic effect since Elliot was so overly sensitive that no gal would want that and the strong guy was almost dragging his knuckles on the beach like a caveman so that would be hard to take also. But the principle is sound and it's a paradox that will decrease the odds of a relationship surviving.

Most likely what it would take to accomplish that Impossible Dream would be to integrate those paradoxes so that they are all included and not seen as separate parts in different people. The trouble with that is it would require both people to realize all the stages in all four quadrants.



The only way to do that is like Ken Wilber was talking about being a Bodhisattva in Hell, you have to be ultimately enlightened then come back to relate and help others to be enlightened also. As I was saying the highest scores of the Grande Game are for those that aren't stuck at any stage of consciousness, but can move through any of them at will.

I just wish I had a better ending than a tragedy

But I guess not every story has a happy ever after. It's a shame since I used to believe in Fairytale endings and that's the way I had the first book in my auto-biography "Seeking Resonance" end with my finding a soulmate to marry. I had thought that Krys did believe in romantic endings also, she said she did, but I guess that couldn't last since it's very hard to live up to that kind of thing over the long haul.

I was going to do the second book more about the adventures we had, but it seems like more of a tragedy like the movie "Shakespeare in Love" where he has to lose her and write about her after. But even Richard Bach couldn't seem to sustain his relationship at the soulmate level after he wrote One which is what I wanted to emulate in the 2nd book

We both loved that movie, but she never believed me when she worried about things working out and I used to tell her that "It all ends well" since I guess the answer "I don't know, it's a mystery" wasn't enough for her. I suppose that's a lot more dramatic than I had planned but as they say "artists have to suffer to create great art" and the situation does lend itself better to be able to "write her well."

The thing is, it does depend somewhat on what side of the screen, you're on. If you're the one at the keyboard developing the plot for the characters to deal with or if you're like in the movie "Stranger than Fiction" where someone else is creating the plot for you to follow.

Some of it is circumstances beyond your control since you can't make choices for other people and I've been wondering if this is the 2nd part of a trilogy though.

I always figured that the attitude of "That's all Life is, is a series of down endings" was a bit shortsighted, since even if Empire Strikes Back did end with tragedies, it was only the middle of the story and the climax was still to come. Maybe that's the moral here that it's not over yet, I might be eligible for the Fickle Finger of Fate award now but there is still more of the story to be written, just that Krys won't be in it.

As John Lennon used to sing "Instant Karma's gonna get you, gonna knock you off your feet" the lies Krys told are going to come back and bite her in the ass. I found out the depth of her lies to me from reading some of her messages on Yahoo to Farin.

Then I made sure that Farin knows about what she was trying to hide from him since I thought it only fair that he had more of the facts so he could make a informed decision instead of being kept in the dark.

I doubt she'll get away with her betrayal of trust because from the conversation I had with him, he's not going to be able to put any trust in her since he won't know if she's capable of being sincere or how long it will be before she finds someone else and does the same thing to him.

Even if she was able to convince him otherwise when she got there, and they do live together for a while, the reality of day to day living will most likely take it's toll since the odds that she has let go of her false expectations and neediness are slim.

The demands of his job as a chef and having to be gone for long periods of time is not going to be able to keep up with her demands for attention. That and the rift created by his need to have children and her inability to be responsible for them are also going to drive them apart.

So it might be that when she is faced with the regrets of her actions, it'll be like I told her that she'll be like in the movie "Chasing Amy" after we've moved on and she'll have to live with the loss of what she had. That might finally give her some maturity instead of all the selfish behavior from being an only child.

I did warn her when she started getting involved with Farin that it was unavoidable that one or all of the three of us were going to get hurt and the odds of winning her "Lets make a Deal" with Fate had very poor odds.

But she maintained "I gamble with my life, never my money" so it was her choice to reap what she sowed, that's the essence of the tragedy it seems.

I have been thinking that it's not worth getting involved with someone else again since I'd probably never get closer to a soulmate again. As they say "Life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone." and that she was the only thing that gave my life meaning.

But thinking about the second part of a trilogy does give me hope and I'd hate to leave the story unfinished especially since I saw Karen Effiel agonize over the ending she made for Harold Crick so that she changed it. Also when I think of how it inspired Shakespeare to greatness.

After all I didn't end "Seeking Resonance" when Margy died since that wasn't the place I wanted to stop. I waited for a way to go out and found it was when Krys and I got married. So this next book might be less like "One" than I had planned, but I should still wait and work toward an ending I like better.

Hopefully I'll learn more and be more careful to do a better job so the adventure and the romance of the fairytale can be sustained in the 3rd book of the trilogy.

Perserverance might be the key

It doesn't look like I'll have my dentures in time for Thanksgiving since they got delayed in fitting them so they work wasn't finished. It's a shame for the turkey, but at least I still can eat the stuffing, mashed taters and rice. At least they are making progress on them and seem to be going out of the way to be certain they will fit right when they are done that's the main thing.

I was watching a DVD from Disney about what happens to Aurora (The Princess formerly known as Sleeping Beauty) and Princess Jasmine and both stories were about perserverance and how important sticking to it until the goal is reached.



It did somewhat inspire me to keep on with my portfolio and I did make some more progress on it but I didn't get it all together yet. I have found some new vitamins that seem to help me focus better so hopefully I'll be able to make more progress on it now

I was hoping to have another place to publish my books

I was reading on HappySlip's blog the other day about how she's going to be selling her videos on DVD from a site called CreateSpace and it sounded like a good idea for me to try so I checked it out.

The good part is that they have no set up fees and they price things like Cafe Press where they set the manufacturing costs and let you set you price above that for your profit. They are owned by Amazon.com so they have a big market to distribute to since that website gets a lot of traffic and if I can get my stuff on there I might have a better chance of selling my stuff.





If I able to put the whole story on DVD with a lot higher quality video than is possible with Revver it would be understood better and I'd be getting paid up front for the DVD instead of trickles from advertising.





It does mean that I would have to work on how to design then DVD, but I got some DVD authoring programs and I can do some cover art for them. Since it's harder to follow spread out on my blog like this, I made another The Writer's Nightmare: Revver Version that has only 3 episodes per page so it's easier to load but still easy to keep the episodes in order





I put a version that has the YouTube version of The Complete Writer's Nighmare Animations that has better music and is all in one page from beginning to end with links to both in the Personal Links on the side of this page.





So it might be a better deal to DVD on that site with some work to get the files ready and burned on a Master DVD then design the art work for the cover and disc but it might be worth it.

They also do book publishing with some better options than Cafe Press in that they off more sizes and they also do color pages with would be better for graphic novels and they'll give you a free ISBN code to be able to sell it more widely. Also Amazon is a very popular site for books so I'd been getting a lot better chance of it being bought by more people.





The drawbacks are that it only allows 100 pages in color pages and they make you pay for a proof copy before they'll approve it for sale. That's somewhat like vanity publishing and somewhat like agressive quality control. While I think being able to check a proof copy is a good idea since it means less mistakes being made, I don't like the idea of being forced to buy a copy before they'll be able to sell it.





I was going to revise my graphic novel since the begining was to low resolution and I'd made a lot of changes in the way I represented Cyan's character in the animation so condensing it to 100 pages wouldn't be such a big deal. But since AFAIK they don't accept PayPal or money orders for CreateSpace it's not going to be that easy to be able to order a proof copy. It might also be a good idea to try it out on a more traditional novel that has more text than graphics like "An Angel's Destiny"

Plus some more insight...

... into how Ken Wilber's theories hold together from being able to get some more of his books at Barnes and Noble. I got Integral Vision which helped show the whole thing easier than in Sex, Ecology and Spirituality





It's good for an overview





I also got Eye of Spirit that give more foundation and evidence for his theories





That meditation gives a lot of the principles shown in the book