Progress choosing between alternatives

It is another Valentine’s Day that I’ve spent by myself but I’m more used to it than last year when I was in a downward spiral, it is also what would’ve been our sixth wedding anniversary but we didn’t make it that far. The nasal sprays the doctor gave me have helped with my mold allergies also the yoga techiques for headaches. While the affirmations have helped to counter the negative attitudes that I was sabotaging myself with.

Now that I have recovered enough to be able to make some of the choices of where my life is going I’ve made some progress on determining which of the 3 alternatives is worth the most to try for.




That brings me to the point of it does make a lot more sense to move onto the next phase since the alternative of just doing nothing is way too boring because there aren’t enough things to distract myself with to take up all of the time.

Having something to strive for like the treasure hunt DVD, the video game and movie illustrating the Integral Life Practice and going through those practices myself makes a lot more sense at this point.

I wasn’t able to get much help in getting an objective perspective from a therapist since the Butte County office had their funding cut and only had group therapy 1 day a week. Trying to get a different interpretation of the symbolism that I wanted with all the distractions and dilutions of other people in the group’s problems wasn’t worth the effort or all the time it would take.




What did help me make a decision was that I sent Krys a birthday card with a YouTube video attached to it of the Michael Jackson song Remember the Time. Krys sent me a reply with a Xena video that had the Dido song Hunter in it. Those 2 videos were a pretty clear example of symbolism that typified the different perspectives and stages of development that we were at and there hadn’t been any change in the past year.

Remember the Time is a song from the second person perspective that uses “we” 20 times and “us” 2 times in the lyrics. While Hunter is from the first person perspective and uses “I” 9 times and “me” 6 times in the lyrics so one is about sharing a possible relationship and the other is about seeking to untangle for a life of solitude.

With those fundamental differences it seems most likely that even if I did follow the symbolism in the Soulmates in Peril video that we would still have the same problems no matter where we lived so it wouldn’t be worth the effort since the Essential Ingredient wasn’t there.




So that pretty much answers the question I was trying to figure out about whether the odds of trying to recapture the Essential Ingredient that had once been established were better than the odds of starting fresh and getting the Essential Ingredient with someone that had never had it before. It seems that it would be easier to form a stronger new bond than repair one that had been broken.

That brings up the part about the law of attraction since like attracts like there has been a similarity in the kinds of gals that have been expressed an interest in me that is the myth of the hero in shining armor that needed to rescue them.

Even though that is an aspect of my character, maybe by connecting with gals at that level it sets up problems with trying to move beyond it to other stages that includes more aspects of my whole personality.

So then the question becomes is that the only type of gal that would be attracted to me are the ones with problems they need to be rescued from and all the baggage that goes with it? Or can I learn to grow out of that pattern of behavior to be able to attract gals at other stages that have more stable personalities?




Would those type of gals be interested in me and would they think it was worth the Essential Ingredient? If I was able to illustrate the concepts of the Integral Life Practice to be easily grasped and go the practices with them to have a solid foundation so that they would understand what was involved then they would be more likely to be attracted enough to build a strong bond that included the Essential Ingredient.

At least that is more progress in figuring out ways to bring the Impossible Dream that I was contemplating last year into the realm of the possible if the correct methods were used. That only makes it a matter of the odds of if I had enough skill and resources to be able to make those methods work. Which makes a substantial improvement since even though the odds at still high against it they are greatly reduced since there are feasible plans that make them at least workable.

Assisting Events to allow Life to imitate Art

I did have some more thoughts about how to get across the 4 quadrant presentation of the Naked Angel. I could do a movie about it and call it something along the lines of “Achieving Communion” and have it be sort of like a “My Fair Lady” story of an actress that gets hired to be the spoke person and narrator of the Naked Angel presentation and for demonstrating the practices in the video game. There are better odds for Life imitating Art in it because of the feedback of the movie being a docudrama with a lot of the script focusing on the journey of transformation the actress undergoes from the experience of demonstrating the practices for the video game.

There are a lot deeper issues since the theme of transformation in the story of “My Fair Lady” is an archetypal myth going back to the Greeks with Pygmalion and Galatea so it is firmly embedded in the collective unconscious that makes the odds very good that the the movie would appeal to a wide audience.

The movie could be shot on location at Esalen in Big Sur to lend more credibility and show some of the workshops used to learn the practices that illustrate how to follow the path.

I could have some scenes of going before the investors and venture capitalists and to get the money to produce the video game and the movie also. Then it would be a journey of the actress to learn the script and film the practices while following the path of development and growing in her awareness. That way she can use the motivation of money, fame and doing a job to get her into the practice and develop some other motivations for continuing when she grows through the stages.




Guru Yoga could be used to provide better motivations for evolving through the stages after the money and the fame then it could be by identifying with the role she is playing since it mirrors the experiences she experiences going through the practices she is demonstrating for the video game, then recognizing spirit in each other and coming to terms with what that entails.

One of the practices to show how to expand into more perspectives and how the true self is connected and anchored in I Amness is to show the Gamemaster’s Complex playing the Akashic Records as videos on the monitor screens. I could have the actress pick different points in her life to go back to and give the support and advice that she thought was most needed at that time to her younger self and have a future self come back to her to give the answers they thought she most needed.

I could do a composite of the actress playing the younger part then the older on the same shot so she could experience it from each side first as the younger getting what she needed then as the older giving the support needed and also watching the scene of both of them afterwards.

That way she could experience the process from the first, second and third person perspectives and see how they are all connected and how the self evolves through stages as everyone grows through experience.




Another of the examples to illustrate Integral Life Practice I could use is a representation of the story of how to gain wisdom. “After a long hard climb up the mountain, the spiritual seekers finally found themselves in front of the great teacher. Bowing deeply, they asked the question that had been burning inside them for so long ‘How do we become wise?’

There was a long pause until the teacher emerged from his meditation. Finally the reply came ‘Good choices’
‘But teacher how do we make good choices?’
‘From experience’ responded the wise one.
‘An how do we get experience?’
‘Bad choices’

I could have some scenes with the actress and some of the other seekers showing the different choices they made to overcome the obstacles in getting up the mountain and the different motivations they had for getting to the top.